Dating Fabulous After 40

By Nancy Nichols

First, our goal here is not to endlessly date men. No, our mission is to learn how to date as charming, vivacious, intelligent older women who are looking for true love within a committed relationship.

I am a divorced 59-year old woman who understands wholeheartedly the discouraging challenges of dating after 40. It wasn't my desire to reenter the callous, combative dating single world, but it seemed the better alternative to living a lifeless, loveless, lonely existence with a non-communicating, insensitive, neglectful husband. So here I am, divorced again, alone and struggling with my relationship marketability as a 50+year old woman.

This is what I have learned in the past years: It is emotional suicide to try to compete with the skinner, bouncier, wrinkle-free younger woman who looks marvelous with no make-up, no bra and no modesty in her extremely low-slung jeans with a seductive pink thong peering from underneath. As for myself, I have cellulite bubbles, wings that won't fly and a bosom that begs for a boob job.

All in all, I am an attractive 59-year old woman. But in the past, it was my lifetime of negative self-criticisms that chipped away at my self-worth, mutilated my confidence and sabotaged my chances of attracting a man who would love and value me as a beautiful mature woman.

Five years ago, I stumbled onto a dating concept that lead me to believe that I am a seasoned, sophisticated babe and any man would be lucky to have me. Over the years I have acquired depth of wisdom, intelligence and poise; I have developed the ability to communicate with and understand my man, earn a nice paycheck, be a spectacular social butterfly, live my life fearlessly and at the end of the day relax, laugh and enjoy a Grande margarita with my equally awe-inspiring girlfriends.

My message to the mature divorced, widowed or single woman who struggles with low self-esteem issues in her quest to find ever-lasting love is this: Never compare yourself to another woman. It will erode your self-confidence. Stop concentrating on what you are not, and instead take an inventory of all the wonderful, enduring qualities you have earned in the last twenty plus years. Most importantly, realize that you were born with special talents, abilities and a unique personality that were intended to manifest itself in a powerful, beautiful mature woman.

It is the culmination of our life's experiences--good, bad and indifferent--that make us who we are today and it is the experiences that perhaps hurt us the most, the ones we survived emotionally, that have molded our personal strength. Understanding this can inspire us to correct the negative attitudes and behavior that impede our ability to be confident, self-reliant, poised women--if only we will allow it.

Read more in the witty, street-smart "chick" book with the empowering personal message: Secrets of the Ultimate Husband Hunter: How to Attract Men, Enjoy Dating and Recognize the Love of Your Life by Nancy Nichols, author, publisher and motivational speaker. A must read for the divorced, widowed and single dating woman over 40. Visit her website at http://www.UltimateHusbandHunter.com