Online Dating Tips for the Digital Age of Romance

By Cherie Davidson

We are romantic creatures. We are social creatures. With these two elements sharing our genetic code, we have little choice but to seek out someone with whom we can feel free to share our romantic gestures. In the Stone Age, this was accomplished much the same way as any survival technique (i.e., hunting and gathering). In the Industrial Age, the biggest change was that we looked and smelled better during our pursuits. Now, in the Digital Age, we are more efficient with our techniques, electronically speaking, however we have also proven that the human species has not changed a great deal on this fundamental level.

So, instead of trekking over hill and dale searching for a love connection, we now flip a switch and "google" for one. Less sweat, but other than that, not much else has changed. The same criteria still dictates how humanity looks for love -- attraction, compatibility, willingness to extend a heart and hand to hold.

Online dating has many positive aspects, some great advantages over the "bar scene," and has been proven as an efficient, safe and enjoyable way to make real love connections. Online dating works very well as a pre- screening tool and allows you to relax more when you do decide to take a relationship offline. However, as with all dating rituals throughout history, there are some precautions that should be taken, to protect yourself, body and heart.

Go With Your Gut ...

Always be aware that the person at the other end of an e-mail message may not be who or what he or she represents him or herself to be. Listen to your instincts ... trust your instincts. If anything about the person makes you uncomfortable, even if it is "just a feeling," then for your own safety and protection, "walk" away.

Be Mysterious, a.k.a. Use Your Anonymity ...

Don't be too eager to disclose personal information. Never include your last name, home address, phone number, where you work, who you work for, or any other identifying information. Always discontinue communication with anyone who pushes or pressures you for personal information! Also watch for any attempts to try to trick you into revealing any personal details. Be very sure you are comfortable before revealing any such delicate information.

Build Trust Through Caution & Common Sense ...

In the offline world, trust is earned gradually through consistently honorable, upfront, honest behavior. Take all the time you need to learn if a person is trustworthy. Again, listen to your instincts. Be responsible and don't fall "head over heels" and abandon caution at the click of your mouse.

To Phone Or Not To Phone, That Is The Question ...

Obviously, share your phone number only after you feel completely comfortable and certain the person can be trusted. Common sense tells you not to offer your personal phone number to a stranger. An option could be to use a "disposable" cell phone, or utilize telephone blocking features available in order to prevent your phone number from appearing on a stranger's Caller ID.

Phone Calls Can Tell You A Lot ...

When you do get to the "phone stage" of the relationship, realize that a phone call may often reveal a great deal about someone's communication and social skills, so listen carefully -- to your instincts as well as to the other person's voice and words. And even if you feel comfortable with someone, still, always consider your security first!

Don't Be Pressured To Meet Too Quickly ...

One of the great advantages of meeting and relating online is that you can collect information gradually and on your own terms, allowing you to choose if and/or when to pursue the relationship offline. You are never obligated to meet anyone no matter how far your online relationship has progressed. Even if you decide to meet offline, you have the right to change your mind at any point. If at any moment you feel uncomfortable about meeting someone in person, listen to yourself--that "inner voice" could be based on a hunch that you can't really explain, but trust yourself.

Red Flags, Take Warning ...

Watch for negative attitudes, such as displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to pressure or control you. Such behavior as these, as well as a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful comments, or any physically inappropriate behavior should send up "red flags." Be very concerned if your date exhibits any of these behaviors. You are also wise to discontinue any relationship where the person gives you inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance, marital status, profession, employment, or anything else for that matter. If the person fails to provide direct answers to direct questions, appears significantly different in person from their online persona, and never introduces you to friends, associates or family members, don't walk, but run, the other way!

Meet In A Safe Location ...

If you decide to meet offline, always tell a good friend or family member(s) who you are meeting, a telephone number to contact you, where you are going and when you will return. Always provide your own transportation, never arrange for your date to pick you up at home. Meet in a public place at a time with many people around. A familiar, crowded meeting place is a good idea. If you decide to move to another location, take separate cars. When the date is over, leave on your own. Before trust has been built, play it safe.

If you are arriving from another city, arrange for your own car and hotel room--never allow your date to make the arrangements for you. Do not disclose the name of your hotel. Arrange to meet at a public location that the two of you can comfortably agree on. If for any reason, as you are arriving or after you have arrived, the location seems inappropriate or unsafe, return to your hotel. And as stated before, always make sure a friend or family member knows your plans and has your contact information, and for added security, carry a cell phone with you at all times.

Stay Safe ...

Never let yourself be pressured to do anything you feel uncomfortable with or unsure about. If you are in any way intimidated by, or afraid of, your date, use your best judgment, and in the least confrontational manner possible make a hasty retreat. If you are feeling unsure how to end the date early, excuse yourself and go call a friend or family member for advice, ask for help from someone in your immediate location, or slip out the back door and drive away. Don't worry about hurting feelings or being embarrassed. And if you feel you are in any danger, don't mess around--call the police. Your safety is always much more important than one person's opinion of you.

Dishonest and unscrupulous people certainly exist on the Web. We've all heard horror stories. They also exist offline, and not just in bars and at parties. Regardless of where you meet someone new, remember that a little safety-consciousness and common sense can save you from a disastrous encounter. Affairs of the heart are never risk-free, but by being alert and exercising a little caution, you can enjoy the exhilarating experience of meeting someone special, someone new, and maybe even someone you will have in your life for many happy years to come.

=====
Cheri้ Davidson is a Web writer living in the Pacific Northwest. Her work is focused primarily on Website content and copywriting, articles, press releases, reviews and e-books, with a great deal of experience writing research, business and technical articles, marketing materials, and essays. Cheri้ has been published in regional and national newspapers, magazines, and by hundreds of online Websites, and is managing copywriter for VisiStat Web Analytics. To contact her, visit her Website at CherieDavidson.com or humor blog at cdwrites.blogspot.com.

Online Dating for Beginners

By Daniel Okula

There are many online dating sites, all of them require you to be at least 18 years of age. The two that I really liked, were Match.com and Yahoo Personals. Match.com is probably the largest online dating site ever, it allows you to create a profile, and search for other profiles for free. You can also send winks (basically a notification that you like someone's profile) to other people for free. In order to actually send emails to other users, you need to be subscribed, which costs a small monthly fee (this can range from $9.99 to $29.99 depending on the site).

When you make your profile, make sure your being honest, because if you meet in person with someone, and they find out some of your information was duped, the sight won't be a pretty one. A lot of the dating sites have an option to add a picture of you. If your planning on doing this, have a good quality camera (preferably a digital camera unless you have a scanner). Ask a friend or family member to take a few shots of you in a well lit room. Make sure the background is ok, and wear something that you usually wear (no tuxedos or anything). A picture is worth a thousand words, so don't blow it! Also, other things that you probably shouldn't do are make a kiss with your lips, be topless, etc. Also, make sure to smile, you don't want them staring at Hannibal Lecter!

If you're not looking into making a profile, and all of that, there is another option to online dating. It is the option of joining a chat room, a cyberspace, where you can meet other people and talk to them live. Chat rooms provide an excellent way to convey your personality, with someone you would probably not have met in person. If you're going to chat, make sure you have a clean looking font you're using. If there's a picture icon or anything, follow the tips above. Ask about the person; make sure your not doing all the talking. Don't get into grey areas such as politics, etc.

One thing to remember is that online dating can be risky too. If you're joining a site such as Match.com, chances are that you're probably safe. But online chatting can be very risky. Make sure to consult your parents about it, and don't do anything stupid like give away your address, and phone number the instant you meet someone. If someone asks for it, just tell them straight up, let's wait a bit!

* You can create a profile on Match.com.

* If you're adding a picture make sure it's good.

* Don't lie on your profile.

* Don't chat about things such as politics.

* Make sure your not doing all the talking.

* Play it safe with chat rooms, use common sense.

Daniel Okula is a writer and a web publisher for dating articles from http://datingtalk.net. Find more similar articles on his website.

Does Internet Dating Work?

By Kathryn Lord

What�s the Number One Question that Everyone Asks About CyberDating?

Everyone -- and that included YOU! -- wants to know: "Does Internet Dating Work?"

Well, I KNOW it works, and in the best possible way, because I met my husband Drew on Match.com in May 1998. And I know others who have met their True Love that way, too. (I'm collecting stories of Internet True Romance, if you know of a couple that met that way -- email me at Kathryn@Find-A-Sweetheart.com and tell me all about it!)

But what about for you? Will it work for YOU???

No one wants to get their hopes up and then be disappointed, do they? If this is "not going to work," then why try?

Sounds like a good reason not to do anything, doesn't it? Because even though CyberDating most definitely worked for me, I can't guarantee that it will "work" for you. Too many variables, the biggest of which is you -- your own fears and how far you are willing to go.

Let�s look at this question from a more logical place.

What have you been doing, other than posting on an Internet Dating site, about finding a mate? And how is that working for you?

Either you have been doing something (singles events, let�s say, or trying to let others know that you are interested) or you have been doing nothing. "Something" is more likely to have results than "nothing," but neither have "worked" in that you haven't gotten a mate yet, or you wouldn't be asking the question "Does Internet dating work?"

So let�s redefine "work." What Internet dating does better than any other method I know is that it exposes you to a very large group of other singles and helps you sort them into the likeliest category for potential partnerhood with you. How well does "doing nothing" compare with that? For that matter, how well does "doing something" other than Internet dating compare?

I've had clients who loudly complain that Internet dating is not working for them, when they have, at the same time, been carrying on several correspondences with possible mate candidates and have met and screened several others, all in a few weeks� time. How can they say that Internet dating does not work???

I can't answer the question "Does Internet dating work?" ANY other way than with a resounding "YES!!!" It works by getting you the best possible exposure to the most potential partners.

Now what you DO with that exposure is up to you -- that�s where your "work" comes in. Many, many factors come into play -- your relative receptiveness to a new relationship, the kind of barriers you may put in the way, your skills or the lack of them in presenting yourself and relating to other. All those and more are part of the "work" that needs to happen to transform potential mates into actual ones.

And that�s YOUR "work" -- so the question becomes "Can I do the work that needs to happen to find a mate and develop a lasting relationship?"

That�s the RIGHT question. It�s a big one, and if you have been long frustrated in your efforts, maybe getting a Romance Coach could help.

Getting a Romance Coach is unlikely to make your situation worse. And who knows? It just might work!

Kathryn Lord ฉ 2004 All Rights Reserved

About The Author

Kathryn Lord, Romance Coach
Helping singles find someone wonderful!
eBk: "Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women"
4870 Oak Ridge Road, Vicksburg, MS 39183 / Ph. 601-619-0030

Stay current with my complimentary enewsletter *eMAIL to eMATE*
Subscribe at http://find-a-sweetheart.com/newsletter.html

http://www.Find-A-Sweetheart.com / Kathryn@Find-A-Sweetheart.com

Little Known Dating Tips, Secrets, and Dating Mistakes

By John Alanis

I hear it over and over��It was going so great, and then she disappeared on me� why? What happened�we were having such a great time together. I�m tired of this happening�I want to date sexy women, but I want them to stick around. Do you have any dating tips for me?�

Yes, I do. Every time I talk to a guy who tells me this, I discover he�s making the exact same mistakes most guys do, dating mistakes that kill his chances of successfully dating sexy women. So, I give him some dating tips to skyrocket his success with sexy women. Here are the most common ones:

Dating tip #1: Don�t date. Yes, that�s right�don�t date. Think about a traditional �date��it�s full of pressure, awkwardness, evaluation and it just plain sucks. What do you do on a �traditional date?� Dinner, movie, kiss goodnight, she doesn�t return your calls. Or you have drinks, and try to �make your move,� and we all know where that ends up. Much better (and cheaper) to meet for coffee�it�s fun and relaxed with none of the normal dating expectations.

Dating tip #2: The less you do and say, the more she�s attracted to you. Most guys try to impress sexy women, or �lay a rap� on them. Sexy women have heard it all before. But, if you ask her about herself, shut up and listen, and display a SMALL degree of interest, she�ll begin to wonder why you�re not slobbering all over her. She�ll want to discover more� now you�re a challenge, and sexy women love challenging guys. Why? Because they rarely meet one. This is a HUGE dating tip.

Dating tip #3 Be a �naughty little boy.� Another big dating tip. Remember the �class clown� in elementary school�the guy who was �cool and funny� all at the same time? When you�re talking to sexy women, make unexpected and mischievous comments, the kind that leave them thinking, �I can�t believe he just said that� but I like it.� This shows sexy women you�re NOT impressed by their looks, that you need to see more. This is so different from what they�re used to they can�t help but be attracted. I cannot emphasize the importance of this dating tip.

Dating tip #4 Avoid all canned pick up lines, �laying a rap,� or any type of �acting.� Sexy women have heard it all before, and as soon as you spout one, you�re instantly a JAG (just another guy). And JAG�s don�t get sexy women�remember this dating tip!

Dating tip #5 Sexy women are approached and hit on 20 to 30 times a day. This is their world�to get into it, you have to be different from the 20 guys who�ve already talked to her. (see Dating tip #3 for how to be different to sexy women).

Dating tip #6 Look out for her tests. Sexy women (indeed, all women) will test you to see if you�ll stand up to them. If you can�t stand up to her, you can�t stand up for her. If she asks you to buy her things, that�s a test�and a perfect opportunity to be a �naughty little boy� (see Dating tip #3). Say something like, �What do I look like an ATM machine? You should buy ME something, just for the privilege of spending time with me. I like sexy women who buy me things!� This is said in a playful�yet firm�manner that lets her know you�re onto her. When you pass their tests, it drives sexy women wild with desire. Very important dating tip.

Dating tip #7 Date multiple sexy women at once, and make sure the others know about it. Sexy women love a man who is attractive to other sexy women, and will compete to �win you.� (Here�s another dating tip: for proof of this, read any good romance novel). If you want to settle down, you can choose one, but she will always know you�re desired by other sexy women�and in a strange way, this creates even more attraction for you. This dating tip really is a secret, but it works very well with sexy women.

OK, guys, that�s it for this article. Obviously there are lots of other dating tips, tricks and secrets to put to use, but if you pay attention to these dating tips, you�ll be a heckuva lot more successful with sexy women. Now, go re-read all the dating tips!

On with the fun�
-John Alanis, Dating Tips Master
�The King of Let �em Come to You�

Want more dating tips? To discover how to be successful with sexy women, and for more great dating tips, see www.womenapproachyou.com.

About The Author

John Alanis is the author of �Secrets of Natural Attraction: How to Get Desirable, Beautiful Sexy women to Chase You.� He also publishes a daily �politically incorrect attraction and dating tips� newsletter that reveals how to get desirable, beautiful sexy women to approach men for a date first, no matter your looks, age or income. You can subscribe to John�s daily �sexy women approach you secrets� by going to http://www.womenapproachyou.com. Upon subscription, John immediately sends you five free �how to get beautiful, sexy women to approach you!� reports, chock full of �hidden secrets� dating tips.

No More Desperation Dating

By Kathryn Lord

When you think about what you find attractive in a person, what comes to mind? Tall, dark and handsome? Blonde and curvaceous?

How about happy and fulfilled with an exciting life?

I don't know about you, but I would pick the happy, exciting life every time. While physical chemistry is important, I know quite a number of people who would not win a beauty pageant, but are so filled with life and energy that they draw the attention of everyone when they enter a room. They may not be the easiest on the eye, but they certainly are the ones I want to talk to and spend time with.

***Looking Ahead***

As we get ready for the search for our future partners, an easy aspect to overlook is our attitude towards our own lives. Each time I have found myself single, adjusting myself to the possible reality that I might be that way the rest of my life has seemed imperative. A part of that adjustment has always included building a happy and interesting life for myself.

How you feel about your life now as a single person and the possibility that you might stay single, affects what you portray to others. If you hate your life, think that being married or partnered is the only valued way to live, and look towards a future as a single as depressing, sad, or bleak, believe me, that shows. And it is very unattractive.

As well, that sort of mind set leads to desperation and neediness, which will really cloud your judgment when it comes to sorting through mate possibilities. How will you be able to freely decide if someone is right for you if you feel impelled to launch yourself towards the first person who shows a bit of interest?

Staying centered and clear-headed is going to be vital to your future, and feeling miserable about your current life and prospects will really cloud your judgment.

***Three Action Steps***

1. Start thinking about improving your life as a single and your attitude towards it right now. What are you proud of, and what do you need to improve upon, to feel better about your life and the future?

2. If you knew, right now, that you were going to spend the rest of your life as a single, what would you need to do so that you would have as interesting and vital a life by yourself as you imagine life with a partner would be?

3. While important to place priority on finding a mate, how can you move it to the side, and make your own life and its vitalness central?

Though sounding contradictory, happiness with your life as it is now, and at the same time, making yourself ready to change it by finding a mate, actually provides needed balance. Your satisfaction with what you have will be exciting and attractive to others. You will not come across as needy, a real turn off.

***Want or Need?***

Want and need are two very different things. *Want* implies desire, but something that you could do without. *Need* has a desperate edge. Because you are looking, you will be signaling that you *want* a relationship and are willing to make space and change for that in your already full life. But you don't *need* another to make yourself complete.

One of the best ingredients for a successful relationship are two people who know how to satisfy their own needs. They are happy by themselves and not *needing* a relationship.

Wanting, yes.

Needing, no.

Kathryn Lord ฉ 2004 All Rights Reserved

About The Author

Kathryn Lord, Romance Coach / Helping Singles Find A Sweetheart!

eBk: "Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women"

Purchase ebook at: http://www.cafeshops.com/findasweetheart

Want more? Get my complimentary enewsletter *eMAIL to eMATE*

Subscribe at http://find-a-sweetheart.com/newsletter.html

http://www.Find-A-Sweetheart.com / email: Kathryn@Find-A-Sweetheart.com

4870 Oak Ridge Road, Vicksburg, MS 39183 / Ph.601-619-0030

Dating Advice for Those Just Getting Back on the Dating Wagon!

By Angela Davis

Dating is a daunting prospect, especially for those who�ve been off the circuit for a while. Here�s a little dating advice to help you back on the dating wagon.

1.Remember this is a date for your partner also. They are also going to be nervous and worried whether they are doing/saying the �right thing�. Be yourself, and encourage your date to do the same. Dates are all about finding out about the other person, if you are both on your �best� behavior, the real you wont be able to shine through. So relax and be yourself.

2.Find out in advance where you�ll be going. Try and take a trip past there and see what people are wearing so that you know you�ll be dressed right. One of the worst fears on getting prepared for a date is in knowing what to wear. Whilst your partner might not be too worried about whether you�re dressed right, you wont relax if you feel you are over or under dressed for the evening. Doing a little investigation work beforehand takes the worry and guesswork out of choosing your clothes.

3.On a similar note to clothes, don�t wear new shoes! You may think that all you�ll be doing is walking from a car to a restaurant and back again, and so your brand new 3 inch stiletto heels with the tiny straps across the front will be perfect for a fancy restaurant � but what if your date wants to dance? Or invites you for a moonlit stroll? The shoes might not turn out to be such a great idea! So think ahead, and give the new shoes a miss on this occasion!

4.Plan ahead on topics you can talk about. There are few things worse than a dinner date where no-one has anything to say and so you sit in an awkward silence, each waiting for the other to find something you can discuss. Make a list and commit it to memory. If the conversation starts to falter a little, choose one of the topics from your list and restart the dialogue. The more you talk to your date, the more you find out � if you remember to stop talking once in a while and listen of course!

5.If you are dating with a hope of finding a permanent partner, then remember to use the date as a fact finding mission! Find out what your date likes, what he dislikes, what his views are on social issues etc. Don�t get into any big religious or political debate! This isn�t the time or the place. But just gently lead the conversation around to things that are non-negotiable issues for you and lightly brush over the surface to see what views he may hold. Once you have a feel for what he believes in, you can explore this further at another occasion � unless what you uncover on the surface is enough for you to call it a day with this particular date and continue your search!

6.The end of a date is always a bit tricky. What to do? Is it ok to sleepover? Do you have to kiss your date? In this day and age, this should no longer be a question of convention. This is completely your decision. You should do what feels right for you. If you want him to stay overnight, then invite him! If you don�t want him to kiss you, make the first move and make it clear that you don�t want personal space invaded. Don�t make your mind up before you even leave the house. Enjoy the evening and see where you�d like it to end. If you�re having dinner, take a trip to the ladies room between the desert course and the coffee, have a few moments to yourself and decide how you want the rest of the evening to go if it�s left in your hands. Your date may of course may not want to do anything more than put you in a cab, but if that�s not the case, then you decide what you would like to happen and take it from there.

7.The last piece of advice I have for you, is to have fun! Dating shouldn�t feel like a chore. Something you have to get through so you can move onto the good stuff! Dating should be a time of exploration, and of meeting new people. A time of learning about them, and perhaps discovering something of yourself along the way. Enjoy it!

Looking for information about Dating? Go to: http://www.datingpr.com 'Dating PR - Everything About Dating On The Net!' is published by Angela Davis - The Complete A to Z Of Dating Resources Check out more Dating articles at: http://www.datingpr.com/articles

Dating in the New Millenium

By Melissa Seifert

Over the past 20 years the face of dating has gone through some noticeable changes. Traditional methods of finding a date would be to rely on friends to play matchmaker or to attend bars, various different social events and parties. We now rely on internet service providers to open the doors for romance. Whether we like it or not, the internet has changed our lives especially in the way we date and meet people.

Men and women have moved their search for love to the internet simply because it is the most convenient in terms of time and money. However, along with this convenience also comes risk. Sure it takes the pressure off witty meaningful conversation, but how fun is that? And how do you know if the person who you are speaking with via �text messaging� actually looks like their picture or has all the great characteristics that they say they do? You can�t read their body language to determine if they are genuine, dull or most importantly how they flirt, which is primarily the most important interaction you share with someone you are interested in.

This is why in our striving to make things better, there is now a combination of the traditional meets cutting edge. It�s called Speed Dating; this concept takes the demand of our fast paced society and still gives you the opportunity to meet someone face to face. It�s a very good way of meeting a large number of people in a fun environment and in a condensed period of time. Speed dating may be the new way to meet but after the first date, you must use traditional dating methods to make sure that your relationship grows.

Attending Singles parties in the past was deemed as an act of disparity but now they are becoming less and less unconventional. These parties are growing in popularity simply because we like to connect with people. Nothing beats a cheerful conversation and there is no better way of learning about someone than looking them in the eye and asking them a question.

The one mistake people make is that they want perfect�and they want it fast. The only way to find your perfect fit is to take the time and put your self out there as much as possible. Many people will go to a bar and stand around waiting to be approached, or take in enough liquid courage so that they can do the approaching�. bit of a hint�no one finds drunken people attractive.

Singles parties and speed dating events are for single people that are sick of standing around bars getting no where and for those who want to get to know a person face to face. Every person who comes out to a Single in the City event is there for the same reason, to meet new people for friendship or perhaps a future relationship. At these events you have eliminated 3 potential risks: Are they single? Are they looking to have a conversation? And Are they open to meeting me? It is not to say that you NEED to come to these events to meet someone, it is just simply the smartest way of doing so.

Singleinthecity.ca is a leading Singles Organization that provides Speed dating, Singles Events and Matchmaking in Toronto and neighbouring cities in Southern Ontario.

About The Author

Melissa is the co-owner of Single in the City. She has 3 years experience in bringing singles together through singles events and personal matchmaking.

melissa@singleinthecity.ca

Visit http://www.singleinthecity.ca

Online Dating, Why Not?

By Brenda Dennick

So, you're looking to meet that "special someone". You have tried the bars, blind dates, churches, grocery stores, etc, all with little or no success. What have you got to lose by trying one, or even a few, of the many different online singles services? Absolutely nothing!

As a former dating service professional, with both matchmaking and video dating services, I would encourage anyone to spend a little time on their computer and explore the possibilities available with online dating. For a low cost, convenient, private avenue for searching for other quality singles, online dating can be a very rewarding and interesting experience.

Online services typically charge a monthly subscription fee around $20 - $30 for a "Standard" package or program. These fees can increase, as you add more of the features offered through the service, often times enhancing your membership. Some services even offer their standard features FREE! Either way, it is a relatively low investment compared to the thousands of dollars, and long term memberships, typically charged by the traditional dating services. Don't get me wrong, although traditional dating services and matchmakers can be quite expensive, many people have enjoyed great successes through their memberships and you may eventually want to try one as well. But to start, go cheap, go convenient, go online!

There are some online dating sites that also do compatibility testing and personality profiling. These features help members find other quality singles who are similar to themselves and complement their lifestyle. The testing and profiling also helps determine what qualities and characteristics one should look for in a mate. This might seem a bit confusing and overwhelming, but it is actually quite easy. Most sites have online help should you have any questions or need assistance. Some sites will even offer suggestions on possible matches.

Typically, no personal information is disclosed between members until both parties agree. All communication can be done through the online website. So, your e-mail, address, phone number, etc., is all get kept private and secure.

One of the nicest features of online dating is the ability to work on your membership in the comfort and privacy of your own home. Whether you are a morning or an evening person, there are no restricting office hours. You can work on your membership when you want, from any location with a computer, for as long as you want. You are in complete control.

Online dating has come a long way, and many singles have benefited and met their "special someone" through the internet. But, do your homework. Research and compare the different sites. Read and understand the membership agreements. Do searches for positive, and negative, information on the sites you are considering. The Singles/Dating business is very popular and competitive, so you need to educate yourself. Take your time, investigate your options, and online dating can be a very exciting, enjoyable, and rewarding experience. Who knows? You might even meet Mr. or Mrs. Right. So, why not?

Copyright 2005 - bdbvi - http://www.singlesresource.net

Brenda Dennick is a former "Dating/Singles" service owner and writes articles for http://www.singlesresource.net

The Best Way to Pick Up a Girl

By Paul Kyriazi

You see her across the room. Ah, so attractive. But nobody to introduce her to you. 'Ah, I'll do a James Bond on her,' you think. Now what was Bond's first words to Pussy Galore? 'I must be dreaming.' No, that won't work. How about singing 'Underneath the Mango Tree' to her as Bond did to Honey Rider in 'Dr. No'. Ah? No! Well, what's left? You'll just have to go up and talk to her, if it's a situation where you won't see her again. But it's always safe to assume that she has a boyfriend that can squeeze the stuffings out of a gold ball. That aside, take a chance and make polite conversation. What's the worst that can happen. She says, 'I'm sorry, I'm not available.' and you save the time and money of a date with her. Like George Burns says, 'When a beautiful woman says 'no' to me, it's a relief.

If you know that you will see her again, like at your university, your job, or working at a restaurant, you can have another shot at her and use the shy man's approach to getting a date.

'You farm boys don't make a pitch, you just shy your way into position,' Ann Margaret says to Pat Boone in 'State Fair'.

Okay, here it is. Instead of asking her to dinner or out on a date which has romance intended, get some tickets to a concert or event first, and then with tickets in hand say, 'I just happened to have tickets to this event. If you'd like to go with me, I'd be happy to take you.' This way the subject is the event. Talk about the person singing at the concert, instead of if the two of you could hit it off or not. She can easily say yes or no, or ask more questions about you or the time and place of the event. She doesn't have the pressure of turning you down, so she can just turn the event down and that will be that. And if by chance she can't make that date, but is interested in you, she can start talking about going out another time.

I've strongly suggested this 'ticket' technique to both men and women who are infatuated with someone at work, or at shop, or restaurant, and have no idea how to make an approach. If the person is available, they usually say yes to an invitation. After all, it's just going to an event. It's not really a date.

I used this 'ticket' technique in college to ask out a beautiful stranger. I was very shy, but was 'in love' from a distance so I had to take some kind of scary attraction. Her name was Cindy and I often saw her in the student lounge surrounded by guys. It took weeks of watching her before I could catch her walking alone, and ask her if she'd like to go see the reserved seat Cinerama showing of 'Grand Prix'. She said, 'Well, I don't know you, but if you come and talk to me sometimes and I get to know you, then maybe.'

So in the next days I made an attempts at getting in a few words with her as she talked with her friends. Then I found out she was taking the film appreciation class that I had taken a semester earlier. So I pushed the teacher to show my new 16mm action film in the class that she was in. He fiqured I had a secret motive because he said he'd show it in the morning class, but I said it had to be shown in the afternoon class (the one Cindy was in). Finally, he agreed.

I not only directed the film, but had a part in it where I used my newly learned karate and hoped she would be impressed. The film went over great with the class cheering and applauding. As she was leaving the class I said to her, 'Well, do you know me well enough now?' She said, 'To go out with you? I replied, 'Yes.' She smilled and nodded her head yes. So don't 'ask her out'. Don't 'take her to dinner'. Get some tickets, and maybe she'll answer you like Cameron Diaz does in 'Charlie's Angels'. 'Tickets? I love tickets!'

About The Author

Paul Kyriazi - Live the James Bond Lifestyle

http://www.BondLife.com

Mike's Dating Story

By Devlyn Steele

(Black Couch Tales)

Mike was completely stressed when he walked into my office last week. Taking a long drink of water, he slumped onto my black leather couch and sighed.

�Coach,� he said. �I need to get out of my relationship.�

Mike is 38 years old and a successful screenwriter. Mike was also perpetually single with a long history of failed relationships. His situation is typical: he wasn�t necessary afraid of something long-term, he just could never find �the One�. Mike could never stay in a romantic situation for long before moving to something new.

Today�s session was no different. Once again he found himself feeling stuck with someone he didn�t want to be with. He told me his story.

�I met Lexy about a year ago. I was at a bar and there she was. She looked awesome and had a great smile. I was attracted and I just had to get to know her.�

For Mike it always started with physical attraction. He continued, �We really hit it off. The next thing you know, we are heavily involved. Things were great at least�the first six months were a blast�really fun. I think I gained ten pounds though. My buddy calls it the Love Diet. You stop going to the gym, order in, and stay in bed day and night.�

Mike�s enthusiasm began to fade as he said, �After the first six months things slowly started to change. We started to get to know each other outside of the bedroom. The more we talked, the more I realized that I had nothing in common with her. And to be honest�this is sort of rough to admit�I wasn�t interested in a thing she had to say.�

�Our relationship became tense at worst and polite at best. Little things started to bug me. The way she chewed her food drove me insane. The way she laughed�it was this high-pitched squeal that I think only dogs could hear�it made me nuts.�

He sighed. �I�m getting on her nerves too. Last week Lexy nearly shoved me out of bed because she said I was snoring too loud.�

Mike straightened up and locked eyes with me. �We need to break up and it�s been a long time coming anyhow. I�m okay with that. But what I really need to figure out is: what the heck is going on in my relationships? It�s always the same. Is it me? Am I meeting the right women? I�m 38 and I still haven�t figured it out.�

Dating often starts as a chance meeting where physical attraction leads us to relationships we �end up in� rather than a choice we stop and think about. We get caught up in the excitement of meeting someone new. We give in to the rush!

But eventually the �chemical reaction� of attraction begins to sputter. The excitement fades and we often find ourselves with a person we don�t know that well. In Mike�s case, he realized he was with someone he couldn�t stand to be around.

This leads us to online dating. There are aspects of character and personality that will create a bond beyond the initial stage of attraction, and online dating allows us to go beyond the chance meeting, beyond the physical attraction. We can search out potential matches that we might never meet in our everyday lives. With the click of a mouse we have access to a wealth of information: interests, hobbies, passions, lifestyle, beliefs, and more.

Online dating allows us to approach dating from an entirely different angle. Instead of getting to know someone from the outside-in, we can establish a relationship from the inside-out.

Does this �more informed� method your romantic life lead to a more compatible and satisfying relationship? Unfortunately the answer is �No!�

Just like physical attraction alone isn�t enough to carry a long-term relationship, having things in common alone won�t satisfy you. You still need physical attraction. You may find tons of people online who will seem perfect. Then you meet face-to-face and you know in a split-second that this person is not for you. You never really know what will happen until you meet.

But imagine if you are attracted! The reason you decided to meet in the first place was because you have things in common and your personalities meshed. You�ve already laid the foundation to take your dating beyond the physical.

What online dating really offers is opportunity to find and communicate with lots of people with whom we share common interests and qualities. It�s not the holy grail of dating, but it�s an excellent way to increase your chances of finding something long-term.

You may still have to go on many dates to find your match, but that is why the Internet is so exciting! There are always new people to find, and always the opportunity for that next date.

Mike is currently online dating and loving it! I encourage you to give it a try for yourself.

About the Author

Devlyn Steele ("America's Leading Life-Coach") is a Relationship Coach, Life Coach. A Columnist as well as radio host. Devlyn has also developed ToolsToLife.com. As a Relationship-Coach Devlyn has created the http://www.OnlineDatingKit.com which teaches Internet daters the skills they need to find their perfect matches on their own and offers a complementary e-book at no cost on �How To Choose The Right Dating Site For You.�

Use Dating To Your Benefit

By Jeanette Castelli

The easy way to date is really by empowering yourself. This unconventional approach is based on the reality that when we grow and expand, our dating also grows and expands.

The book The Joy Of Dating Again: 21 Self-Empowering Keys, will guide you through the keys for self-empowerment. Using the 21 keys, you will get the tools to move into a "new life," stretching your old limits and breaking the barriers of what is possible for you. In addition, you will develop the tools to attract a partner that is really suitable for you; the �new you.�

To create the joy of dating again, you need to take action to make it happen. Some of you wish there was some kind of service where you call and they deliver the date of your dreams, with no effort on your part; or maybe, you wish you could fast forward time and already have found that special person, skipping the whole dating process.

The truth is there are powerful experiences of transformation, joy and self-discovery awaiting you in this adventure of dating again. A new level of self-esteem, passion for life, love and positive relationships can all be yours.

Empower yourself by following the joyful and easy road, with this book. You will be able to find a new meaning for dating again.

Start right now with a positive attitude and see dating as an adventure, a journey into love, a trip into your heart, a challenge that can help you grow, a fun activity, a process of self-discovery, a project for happiness, a quest for inner harmony, and a great opportunity to enhance the quality of your life.

ฉ 2004 Jeanette Castelli. From the book �The Joy Of Dating Again� by Jeanette Castelli, M.S. ISBN: 0974206113. Features 21 Self-Empowering Keys to transform your experience of dating and your life, eliminating the trial and error. Contains exercises, worksheets and social experiments to implement each key. Book available now from bookstores, Amazon.com, and other online retailers worldwide. For more information visit website: http://www.JOY.urbantex.com/ Email: Postmaster@urbantex.com

Do's and Don'ts for Men on Dating Sites

By Leif Croonquist

Men, learn how to behave on dating and personals sites.

Being a man and also being the owner of a dating site myself I have to tell all my fellow men that you are chasing all the women away. Most of you anyway. Women are keen on how we behave because most of us all behave the same way on dating sites. Here is a list of DO's and DON'TS to help keep the women at these sites and to help you get some responses.

1) DON'T copy and paste 25 exactly same emails and send them off. Women see right through this and it get's you no-where. Ever wonder why you don't get responses? That's the first reason. DO send individual emails and put some thought into contacting women on these dating sites. REMEMBER: women get 100 emails a day from all sorts of guys. If your email has no heart then you just go over-looked.

2) DO spell check your email, women are so turned off by a guy that cannot spell it shows you are either stupid or just lazy. The same thing goes for grammar. Take some time to get it right guys and you will get a response.

3) DON'T choose a nickname that has a sexual innuendo (unless you are on an adult dating site). Remember, women usually like men with some class and Roger_69sU shows that you just want a one night stand. Try something more clever.

4) DON'T contact single women if you are married. It is a waste of their time and is an insult. DO read their profile and see if they are interested in married men.

5) DON'T lie. DON'T lie. DON'T lie. Enough said.

6) DO not send women pictures of your "privates". They will ask if they want to see that. DO send them a nice picture that shows your sense of humor or style.

7) DON'T just send an email after you see their picture. DO read their profile first.

8) DON'T harass women that are not interested. This ruins the site for everyone and could very well get you banned from the dating site forever. Many sites now have reporting features for this very reason. DO treat all others on the site as though you were talking in person to them. You would harass them to their face would you?

This is just a small list of some of the incredibly stupid things guys are doing on Internet dating and singles sites. Now of course there are some great guys out there that are honestly looking for a nice date or relationship so any women reading this, just bear with us, we men are slowing catching up and figuring it out.

Hope this article helps.

Leif Croonquist is 34 years old and lives in Portland, Oregon. He is the owner and creator of http://www.personals4dating.com. He invites you to join if you behave ;)

The Joy Of Dating Again - Self-Empowering Keys

By Jeanette Castelli

For some, the idea of dating again can be intimidating or even scary. For others, it means an experience full of expectations and adventures. Whatever your idea of dating again may be, one thing is clear, you want to have a joyful experience and ultimately find new love in your life.

Dating again is not just about going out with people that you like. It has to do with transforming your whole life. Dating again is the step that will lead you to a new relationship, starting with yourself. Dating has a deep meaning in our lives, because relationships have a deep meaning in our lives: one leads to the other. We can almost conclude that the quality of dating will determine the quality of our next relationship.

When you try to get into a relationship just for the sake of not being alone, you are selling yourself short. You truly deserve the best relationship you can get. A great relationship can transform your life, but first you need to empower yourself to be at the level where you are ready for that special relationship. Why? Because we attract people who match our self-esteem, level of passion, happiness and intimacy.

Only through self-empowerment you can discover the greatest relationship of all: relating to your inner self. The rest will come. You can count on that! You will find more dates, better dates, meaningful and compatible relationships; it all starts with you.

Take this opportunity to make the best of your life and your self. Use self-empowerment to implement new ideas, behaviors and life strategies.

Don't wait for the great relationship to come along. Start giving your best today, and see your love life unfold as you discover the joy of dating again. Have fun in this journey that you have already started.

ฉ 2007 Jeanette Castelli. From the book �The Joy Of Dating Again� by Jeanette Castelli, M.S. ISBN: 0974206113. Features 21 Self-Empowering Keys to transform your experience of dating and your life, eliminating the trial and error. Contains exercises, worksheets and social experiments to implement each key. Book available now from website http://www.JOY.urbantex.com/, Amazon.com, bookstores and online retailers worldwide. For more information visit website: http://www.JOY.urbantex.com/ Email: Info@urbantex.com

International Dating - When Love Really Means Going the Distance!

By Angela Davis

In today�s society, the world really is getting smaller. As we leap from one technological breakthrough to the next, we find that within micro-seconds we can transfer information from one side of the earth to the other. We can live on one continent and be employed by a company on another. Air-travel means that many people are part of a global workforce that commutes around the globe attending meetings in every international outpost of the company.

This minimizing the world is filtering slowly down through the professional world, and into our personal lives. No longer are we of the mind set that we will one day grow up and marry the boy next door. It happens, but it�s just as likely to marry the boy in the next State, or next country ��.or the one who lives on the other side of the world. The Internet is probably the biggest influencing factor on current day international dating.

Throughout history there have been mail-order brides. From the women who were sent to the colonies, to the women who answered small ads from ranchers out west, and more recently, the Russian (and I�m sure other nationalities) who place ads of their own looking for a partner outside of their homelands. Despite this history, finding a mate through some form of media has maintained a �desperate� image � as if the person seeking is unable to find someone to have them locally. The Internet, even with its reputation for �adult� sites has somehow managed to remove some of the stigma, and there is now a healthy and steadily growing international dating scene.

The big question is always �Can international dating lead to anything permanent�? The answer to this is a resounding YES! Many people are prepared to take a chance on love, and move themselves and their lives to be closer to their overseas loved one. Those who do this find that they are suddenly face-to-face on a daily basis with the name they�ve been typing too for a period of time, learning how to co-habit with someone who is physically a stranger, whilst at the same time learning how to handle living in a new country. By far the worst of this is being removed from family, and taking the place of communicating with your partner online, you now spend your time communicating with your family online instead!

There are still many people who regard international dating as desperate, and deem any relationship that comes of such an enterprise to be a failure waiting to happen. Ok, so it might happen, but there are never any guarantees in the love and romance game. Even if you shared a sandbox with the partner you marry, there�s no guarantee that the flame wont go out and one day you�ll wake up and find you have nothing in common with the person who shares your life, your home, your bed. In the best of situations, things go wrong. If the relationship came from an exercise in internet dating, the fallout is messier because then someone is left in a strange country with little by way of personal support system. They then face the situation of either toughing it out in their new country if the local immigration laws permit, or they can return to their homeland and face unemployment amidst the �I told you so� looks of friends.

For every naysayer on whether international dating can turn into a permanent loving relationship, there are two people who can stand together and say �It can work. We are proof of it!�

Whether you�re looking for a long-term relationship, or just a little cultural difference, internet dating can offer you the opportunity to meet up with potential partners who may just be the person you�ve spent your life seeking!

Looking for information about Dating? Go to: http://www.datingpr.com 'Dating PR - Everything About Dating On The Net!' is published by Angela Davis - The Complete A to Z Of Dating Resources Check out more Dating articles at: http://www.datingpr.com/articles

Inexpensive Dating Ideas

By Jeffrey Strain

Dating and saving money. For many, the two concepts don't equate. There's an automatic reaction for most when suggesting the two together that the person paying is trying to be "cheap" and the resulting date will naturally have the same feel. Contrary to popular belief, however, dating doesn't have to be expensive to be fun, entertaining and memorable. It doesn't even have to take a whole lot of extra preparation time. What it does take is a little imagination and breaking from the typical date routine. You have to be willing to think beyond dinner and a movie and be willing to try something new for a change. Here are 15 inexpensive dating ideas: 10 for anyone plus 5 for the adventurous.

Natural Scenery: The beauty of nature is all around us and it doesn't cost a dime. Whether it's a trip to the beach, a walk in the forest or a search into a cave, it can be done together for practically nothing. Take the time to find the natural scenic spots in your area and utilize them for your dates.

Sports: If you and your date are both athletic, sport activities together can be a great way to spend your time. Play a set of tennis, jog in the park, toss a Frisbee about, play catch with a baseball or football or shoot some baskets. Whichever you choose, you can spend quality time at minimal cost and get some exercise in, too.

Picnic: Picnics are great for dates because they can be taken along wherever you plan to go for the day and they cost a fraction of going out for a meal. They also can be made as casual or as romantic as you want. Take a casual picnic meal, add some cheese & wine along with a red rose and the picnic instantly takes on a romantic feel.

Historic Places & Buildings: It seems the only time people go looking at the historic landmarks near where they live is when visitors come from out of town. Many of these historic or culturally significant spots have no or small entrance fees and make a great place to go on a date. You also get to learn more about the area you live.

Meal/Evening At Home: Cook up a meal at home and spend the evening watching movies or some other activity such as a board game. The meal most likely will be better than at a restaurant and the evening will cost a fraction of what going out to dinner and a movie would cost. Cook the meal together to spend even more time together, or do it yourself as a special surprise.

Memory Album: Take your camera or purchase an inexpensive disposable camera and make a day of taking photos together. Make a theme for the day if you want or just take any crazy photo that comes to mind. Once finished, get the photos 1 hour processed and create a memory album together for the day that will live on forever.

Museums: If you have museums in your area, they can be an excellent place to enjoy an inexpensive date. Admission prices are usually reasonable and often they have discounts for those attending a number of events over the year.

Learn A New Skill: Gather some information on a skill you always wanted to learn and spend a day practicing it together. It could be a day of learning card tricks, learning how to juggle or learning to make bird calls. Any skill you have always wanted to try can make a fun and interesting date.

College Events: If you live near a college or university, utilize their resources for your dates. Guest lectures, music recitals, art exhibitions and plays are common and are often free of charge. The quality can be excellent and the variety enormous.

Hobby Together: you can set a regularly scheduled date if the two of you have a hobby you both enjoy. You can look in the local community newsletter to see if there are classes being offered in something that interests both of you. These classes are usually quite inexpensive and the two of you can enjoy a few hours each week together learning something new.

For those who are looking for an inexpensive date with some adventure involved, here are five more options that are sure to make the evening memorable:

Local Thrift Shop Date: Plan a date someplace where there are a lot of people. Before going, head down to the local thrift shop together. Once there, specify a small amount of money to purchase clothing or accessories for the other and both head off in different directions. The goal is to find items the other has to wear for the rest of the day/evening within the price specified. The entertainment is seeing the reaction from all the people who see your new outfit as you wander the crowded area.

Follow Them Date: As the two of you meet, you look around and pick somebody out on the street. The date is to follow that person where ever he or she goes. Once that person has stopped or you can no longer follow them, pick another person to follow. Your bound to have loads of laughs as you attempt to stay with your designated guide.

Scavenger Hunt Date: When your date arrives, have him or her make a list of what he or she considers to be 20 unusual items. Once the list is made, the date will be to try and find as many of those items as possible.

Truth Or Dare Date: Pick some spots in your area to visit, but play truth or dare along the way. It doesn't really matter where you go since the entertainment is doing the various dares that the other gives in addition to telling all the truths.

Bag Of Dates: Put each of the dates I just mentioned, plus any others that you come up with, onto a separate sheet of paper and place them in a bag. When your date comes to the door, have him or her reach inside and choose a piece of paper. Whichever one is chosen is your date for the day/evening.

Copyright (c) 2004, by Jeffrey Strain

This article may be freely distributed so long as the copyright, author's information and an active link (where possible) are included.

A complimentary copy of any newsletter or a link to the site where the article is posted would be greatly appreciated.

About The Author

Jeffrey Strain has published hundreds of money saving articles and the creator of the Daily Money Saving Challenge Program. He is the co-owner of http://www.savingadvice.com -- a website dedicated to saving you money.

savingadvice@gmail.com

Dating Dilemma: The Man Who Said He'd Call and Didn't

By Terry Hernon MacDonald

You went out with the guy. You both had a great time (or at least you thought he did!). You said goodnight, and he said he'd call you.

He didn't.

Why? What did you say to offend him? Was it your hair? Your clothes? Your weight? What's wrong with you, anyway?

The answers to those questions are as follows: Who cares? Nothing, no, no, no, and not a damn thing.

Every woman in the world--no matter how thin, beautiful, smart, kind or talented--has been disappointed by a guy she really liked who said he'd call but didn't.

Whatever you do, don't call him. Why? Because he said he'd call you, and he didn't. Which means that either his word is no good (better to know that early on!), or that he accidentally threw away your phone number with the tin foil he wrapped his peanut butter sandwich in.

Yes, of course women have every right to phone a man (as long as they're cool about it), but why put yourself at a disadvantage by calling someone who pretty much lied to you? Who needs it?

Now, before you fall into the funk that says you're never going to get married, all your dates end badly, you're getting older by the second, you're going to die alone...

STOP!

The truth is, the guy has done you a favor. He's not right for you, and in a cowardly manner he's let you know that immediately, rather than stringing you along for weeks. Rejection always hurts, sure, but it happens to everybody. And you're a big girl; you'll definitely get over it.

Remind yourself of what you have to offer, of what makes you special. Know that if somebody with your fine qualities exists, surely a man with the good taste to love and appreciate you also exists.

Know this: The world is full of much better men than the toad who let you down. And every rejection you face is a step toward the right man, the one who's truly worthy of you and will add to your happiness.

Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Visit her website at http://www.marrysmart.com . Check out her blog at happygirlmusing@blogspot.com

Internet Dating for Men

By Martin Smith

Over the past several years online dating has become very popular. Many men try this format of dating or meeting in an effort to meet someone special without the risk of face-to-face rejection. The unfortunate thing is, online dating doesn�t work for men as the odds are stacked against them.

In November 2003 Jupiter Research did some research into this area. The study showed that men are four time more likely then women to use and subscribe to an online dating website and twice as likely to browse, post and respond to a profile. The odds are stacked against men and strongly in favour of women.

Internet dating can of course work for men, it just takes time and effort. The best way to approach and have more success is by viewing Internet dating as a supplement to other methods of meeting women. Don�t just rely on it as you�re only method of meeting. You�ll find many sites online that have built-up a database of users and offer a service that will not just help but guide you as well.

You need to think outside the box, basically if you really want to meet and date a lot of women you�ll need to use the old-fashioned way and approach women in person. Don�t take this the wrong way, basically you need to not just talk to women using email, chat rooms, Instant Messaging face-to-face is the only way.

As the old saying goes, the more things change the more things stay the same.

When it comes to meeting women, a confident man who can approach a beautiful woman and strike up a conversation with her will always do better than the 99% of men who cannot. Technology might change a lot, but it will never change that.

About the Author
Martin Smith is a successful freelance writer providing advice and tips on a variety of subjects if you need tips on Dating Online His numerous articles provide a wonderfully researched resource of interesting and relevant information.

A Dating Story From My Youth

By Matt Matcherson

One of my first "Big Dates" was a Cotillion dance in 8th grade...or was it seventh? Cotillion was an attempt by a local "grande dame" to nurture refined manners in a group of young teens along with ballroom dancing instruction. I think it was a truly nerve wracking experience for most of us! Once a week we would walk a couple blocks from the middle school to the K of C Hall located on the 3rd floor of a downtown building. A virtual skyscraper in our town! Guys wanting a little money would hang about by the door and help the instructor out of her car ...open the door. These kind of brownie points paid a couple bucks cash! If you were really good you would carry some of her stuff up the 3 flights of worn wooden stairs. It was one of those buildings that are mystifyingly old...the major mystery to me being that they haven't burned down!

We would then partner up and learn the rhumba, the foxtrot, the bossa nova, jitterbug, waltz etc. Every so often we would switch partners and during the session you would dance with each of the 50 girls a couple times. All very open stance and supervised...but still at that age, and for a nerdy guy still in his Clark Kent frames it was something of a thrill.

Jenny (names have been changed to protect the sweet and innocent) was a cute little girl from my neighborhood. She lived about 4 blocks away so I only saw her when I was walking home. Her family had a tree between the sidewalk and street with a trunk that was curved from years of kids passing by and jumping up to hang from it...at least I think I wasn't the only one! Many days Jenny would be waiting by that tree till I passed by and smile nervously saying "Hi". I too would say "Hi". Sometimes I even said it first! But always continuing on my way. God only knows what disasters would have occured if I had stopped to talk any further! But this was earthshaking stuff making my head spin on the rest of my walk home.

Well this brazen flirting continued and the pitch of her "Hi's" became higher and happier. When it was time to invite someone to the dance I found the number in the phone book and spent an hour or so making myself nervous. One of Jenny's 300 sisters answered the phone and I heard much yelling for her and thumping up and down stairs...I nearly hung up in fear! This was much worse than when the german shephard down the street was chomping on my leg as I rode past on my bike!

I don't remember the conversation with Jenny...I may have blacked out. But I know it was successful because weeks later I found myself at her house in a suit in this predicament with an enourmous corsage and no clue of how to pin it to her dress. Thankfully her mother came to the rescue. Her mom still laughs about that when she see's me.

After that awkward scene things got better. We sat with friends and ate, all joking around. Jenny and I actually remembered the different dances and impressed the leader of the orchestra a little. Music, friends and dancing with a childhood crush. There was nothing more to it than that. Really when compared to some of my more recent dates, it is perfect in comparison.

Matt Matcherson is a writer musician and humorist. Sometimes he even writes funny music. His site MatchTales brings dating stories, site reviews and free dating support forums to the web.

http://www.matchtales.com

Men On Dating- Timing, Turn-offs and Keepers

By Toni Coleman

Dear Relationship Coach-

"We met online and seemed to hit it off right from the start. After he answered my ad, we went on our first date, and it was fabulous. I believe we both felt a strong chemistry and learned a lot about each other. At the end of the evening we agreed to get together again. He called me the next day and we talked for three hours. On our second date, we spent the whole day together. After three dates (and many emails, phone calls) - we were talking on a Thursday night. We had previously discussed plans for Saturday. However, he did not mention it before we hung up. I wasn't sure of how to handle the situation, so I waited until a day later and left a voice message for him, saying hi. After four days with no word, I left him an invitation to dinner at my place. I never heard back. What happened? What am I supposed to think?" (Confused Female)

Many single women write to me expressing confusion, uncertainty and frustration regarding the whole dating scene. Their stories are often (like the one above), filled with tales of broken dates, unanswered emails and/or phone calls and guys just disappearing for no apparent reason. They are looking for answers about what qualities men look for in choosing women to date and want to know what single guys really want from their relationships. Most of all, they want to know how to find and build mutually satisfying and lasting relationships.

After receiving the above email, I decided to query several single guys and ask for their thoughts, reactions and suggestions to this and other questions that women want answers to. The men I spoke to are all; never married, twenties to thirties, professional, attractive and financially successful. All have very full social lives and have been actively meeting and dating women for years. Only one guy (David, a small town mayor and a professional lobbyist for a trade association) is in a relationship. However, he travels quite a bit and spends a lot of time out socially with mixed groups of singles.

Their feedback for the writer of the above question contained somewhat differing views, but had a consistent thread running through it. The bottom line - he liked her and had an interest, but something changed and he decided he didn't want to continue. The men offered such comments as "he decided he's just not that interested in her" and " I wonder if they had sex, because some guys are into the chase and loose interest after that". One guy was surprised that this had occurred after they had spent a lot of time together and there had been a real interest in getting to know each other. All of the guys felt that he should have handled the situation differently. David felt the writer should have brought up the issue of getting together right away- during the phone call. He believes "this would have cleared up the ambiguity and let her know upfront where she stood." He also commented that a woman needs to "focus on what is happening in a relationship right now". He cautioned, "don't rely on past dates, go with what is happening now." Their comments gave birth to more discussion and many related questions that came up for me as they shared about their dating experiences and their beliefs. The end result? A brief snapshot of the qualities men look for in women and their thoughts on dating, timing, commitment and marriage.

What are turn-ons for you?

* " Personality is very important. Look for easy-going, easy to be with, low maintenance".

* " Confident, fun, strong - yet kind- women"

* " Takes care of herself- mentally and physically"

* � Makes decisions based on what is good for her, not to please me or someone else"

* � Is positive and can be part of a healthy give-and-take relationship"

* " Attractive and has style and class"

* " Is a good friend, easy-going. easy to be with"

* " Is upfront and communicates feelings/wants/needs clearly and directly"

* " Comfortable with herself/her body/her decisions"

What are turn-offs for you?

* " Doesn't take care of herself- sloppy, disorganized, etc."

* " Negativity is a big turn-off- behavior, relationships, conversation"

* " High-maintenance- nothing is ever enough"

* " Game-player/won't express needs and feelings directly"

* " Expects too much in general and doesn't give back equally"

* " Is always the victim- everyone unfair and unkind to them"

* "needy, insecure, clingy"

* " selfish- stingy with money, time, friends"

What are the qualities that make a woman a "keeper"?

* " Nurturing"

* "supportive"

* " intelligent"

* " very into me"

* " appreciates what I contribute and is respectful of my feelings"

* " self-reliant"

* "family-oriented, likes kids"

* " career or no career ok as long as she contributes to the family (great mom)

How would you define "date"?

* " Make plans in advance"

* " There is something there besides sex"

* " This is something you want to pursue- have an interest in the person"

* "Friends with benefits can lead to dating or be considered a date"

* "Hooking-up is not dating"

How does a woman know if a guy is really interested?

* " He will pursue her"
* " No matter what, he will keep in contact"
* " He communicates regularly and pursues a dating relationship"

How does a guy let a woman know he is not/no longer interested?

* " He will vanish"

* " Email or call but not bring up getting together"

* "Say I had a great time, etc.- but then not call"

* "Won't return calls or call when he said he would"

* "Talk with her about how he is feeling/not feeling, but this is hard for many men to do"

* "Has to do with his age and level of maturity- these will determine which way he will handle it"

Why/when do guys marry?

* " It's about maturity and readiness"

* " Age and what friends are doing plays a large role"

* " Has to do with readiness for making a commitment and having kids, etc."

* " Heeds to feel financially, emotionally ready"

* " Needs to really click with a woman- on all levels"

* "timing is a lot of it"

The content of the feedback from these guys was very consistent. The overall consensus? High-maintenance, negative women are the biggest turn-offs. Confident, together women, who take care of themselves, can communicate honestly and directly and are easy to be with- got the highest marks. Timing in relationships plays a huge role. Mostly, the men emphasized that when a guy is truly interested in a woman, he will pursue her and let her know. If he offers excuses and doesn't follow through, he's just not interested- either in her or in a relationship at this time.

My advice to the women out there. "Listen" closely to what he communicates non-verbally. If he says one thing, but does another, he is not telling you the whole truth. If you have just begun dating someone or have seen him for a while and his behavior towards you changes suddenly- address this with him immediately. Most of all, if something just doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Trust your instincts and let them be your guide.

Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men�s Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), and Nirvana magazines. She has been featured on abcnews.com; discovery.health.com; aolnews.com; MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni offers dating help and relationship advice as the weekly love and dating coach on the KTRS Radio Morning Show (St. Louis, MO) and through her syndicated column, �Dear Dating Coach.� Her newsletter, The Art Of Intimacy, helps over fifty-five hundred subscribers with its dating and relationship advice. Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association Of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers.

Why Do So Many People Date Online?

By Ann Bendis

Once upon a time, online dating was a last resort, a joke of sorts for singles. Today, that is no longer the case. Millions of singles are now looking online for relationships. The reasons behind this new trend in dating are numerous.

Money Never Has and Never Will Grow on Trees.

The first reason people are turning to online dating is the relatively low cost of the services. Compared to the costs of transportation, grooming, and dining for a blind date, a few dollars a month to an online dating firm is cheap. Online dating allows singles to evaluate their matches and to get to know them before shelving out hard earned dough.

Must I Really Comb My Hair For This?

Comfort and convenience is the second reason online dating has become so popular. While it is generally done at home for privacy reasons, online dating can be done twenty-four hours a day from anywhere a person can access the Internet. No make-up or new hairstyle is required. When in the comfort of your own home, there is no dress code and bathing, although preferred in case of emergency, is optional.

Being able to meet new people in the confines of their own homes is also a huge plus for singles and divorcees living with children. They can mingle without having to hire a babysitter.

Only 24 Hours in a Day.

Why waste two of them talking to a guy who thinks all unforgettable, classic movies feature The Rock or to a girl who can't name the United States Secretary of State but can list twenty colors of red nail polish? With the screening features provided by online dating services, you're able to sift through the vast selection of singles and narrow down the pool to people who match your criteria.

Stupid is as Stupid Does.

Despite popular beliefs, online dating is not unsafe. It is in fact, as anonymous and safe, as a user wants it to be. Statistics reveal that it is just as safe as conventional dating, perhaps even safer as online daters don't feel the need to invade the crazy, sometimes dangerous, bar scenes. As long as online daters exercise common sense as they should do even when dating in the conventional manner, they should have safe dates. It would be ridiculous to assume that one can play with a live beehive and not get stung.

A Happily Ever After For Me Too?

Online dating success stories are everywhere from CNN to Oprah. By itself alone, match.com recognizes an estimated 130 engagements and/or marriages each month as a result of its services. Other dating sites quote similar high figures. Daters see these numbers and want their own happy endings.

Online dating is inexpensive, convenient, safe, and proven successful. Nobody wants to be alone; no one should. With online dating, you don't have to be.

Ann Bendis writes about online dating and relationships at http://www.singleattractions.com