By Kerry Pettigrew
It's been awhile since we looked at dating, singles scene, and other related issues for Baby Boomers and those over or close to 50. So,lets explore these topics a little today.
An interesting way to begin the research today was to just Google: "Baby Boomer Dating." I've also tried searching Over 50's Dating,etc. and you get about the same results. Of coarse, you pull about 897,000 results on this topic and it's interesting to explore some of the popular sites. I think that most of us, for some time now, rely on the computer and various search engines to research a multitude of topics. From buying an I-Pod or car, to researching travel costs and destinations, the power and usability can't be beat. It's a natural place to begin a study of many or most topics that you can think of.
As I have shared in earlier articles, I think there are many quality online dating or introduction sites that can help us Baby Boomers reach out and find someone. Certainly there are as many reasons and motivations for finding someone as there are people looking. It can be for casual friendships or more serious relationships. Certainly a degree of caution and common sense is always in order, and for some more socially outgoing Baby Boomers, this just may not be for them.
For me, as a more introverted and a bit of a socially challenged Boomer, sites like E-Harmony and most recently an Asian Dating site, have given me exactly what I was looking for. This is a process that takes a certain amount of time,money,and patience. To hurry the process would be at your own peril. I really do recommend searching your heart and soul and getting to know yourself first before embarking on a serious search for that special someone. This usually involves some looking back at previous relationships (marriages ?) to see what went wrong. When, or if possible, ask yourself why. Oftentimes close friends and family can see things about you that you can't or won't see. Their opinions and reflections should be sought after and valued.
Though it may sound a bit cold and detached, consider somewhat of a shopping list approach (written and/or mental) as to just what you are looking for in a potential long-term mate. (husband,wife, or just friend) At the same time, you might make a list of your own personality traits,strengths,weaknesses,likes,dislikes,etc. to use for comparison and introspection. Try to be as brutally honest with and about yourself as you possibly can. Certainly the process of really knowing ourselves is a lifetime process as we oftentimes struggle to learn from our mistakes and not go out and make the same one(s) again.
Also, try not to be to too hard on yourself. We all will make mistakes from time to time and we all should know that when we do take chances and reach out to someone, it will not be without a degree of risk. While we can take some measures to minimize that risk, it can never be completely eliminated. It sort of reminds me of my days doing sports in high school and college and the phrase:"No Pain,No Gain." Well, in this case, the pain can be heartache and/or bank account pain when we recover from a broken relationship or from something we did that we thought was from a bad decision.
So, look for fun and adventure as you may. Take a chance from time to time, and, most of all,have fun. While exercising a degree of care and caution, try not to be so overly careful and cautious that you never leave your house or even try to meet someone new.
Reach out and touch someone. Reach out and take a chance.
Kerry F Pettigrew
My Over-56 Blog
0 comments:
Post a Comment